xxpinkieswearxx (xxpinkieswearxx) wrote,
xxpinkieswearxx
xxpinkieswearxx

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Today's Horoscope!

SCORPIO -
On a Sunday in December a stranger will come up to you and hand you a dirty sock.
Thank him kindly and offer him 50 cents for it.

SAGITTARIUS -
You could make a lot of money going up to Scorpios and selling dirty socks to them for 50 cents each every Sundays

CAPRICORN -
You will have a dream in February about an African Elephant, an Emu, and a humpless camel. It could be worth writing about and selling the movie rights.

AQUARIUS -
Your pet goldfish will come down with a terrible contagious disease and you'll be forced to call in a specialist all the way from Peru.

PISCES -
You will come into a deal of money when your lawyer advises you to sue the soup company for leaving the 'G' out of your alphabet soup.

ARIES -
2003 is only 362 days for you. Somewhere in the middle of July you will skip two Thursdays due to exhaustion, and a Tuesday to go to your piano lesson.

TAURUS -
Do not accept any large sums of money from white tied men who speak in a muffled voice. It could be counterfeit - even if you do want to buy a new hat.

GEMINI -
Someone will offer you $6000 for the use of your name in a cat food commercial, but you realize it will mean you'll have to find a new one so you will refuse.

CANCER -
Very early in the year you will be given a small sum of money by someone you know. Do not give it to anyone in exchange for magic beans.

LEO -
You will become confused by your fingernails and why they seem to collect dirt under them within minutes of cleaning.

VIRGO -
During a card game you will be dealt two 4's.

LIBRA -
It is unlikely that you will find a new miracle cure for every known disease, so you might as well give up trying and start collecting stamps instead.
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